i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize