I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
