New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize