I cockslap morals
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize