$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
