Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
