Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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