Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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