too bad you live with your parents still
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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