Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We were destined to go to rehab together
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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