I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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