Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i will never coherently bang her
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
