I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
These tits shall not be calmed
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
