I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
