im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
