I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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