You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize