I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
