I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
