I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
