# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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