Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just cropdusted the office
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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