Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
