i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
