I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
as a side note pls kill me
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