"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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