i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
