Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We need to rekindle our bromance
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
