So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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