You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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