i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize