M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
