So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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