Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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