Bisexual people are plain selfish.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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