Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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