My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
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