DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Randomize
