Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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