Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles