ADVERTISEMENT

• (712): View more from Iowa

  I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.

  Fav 14 4882 1729

  share tweet
  

• (905): View more from Toronto

  Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke

  Fav 33 3404 882

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (510): View more from California

  im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.

  Fav 10 3921 1158

  share tweet
  

• (308): View more from Nebraska

  You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.

  Fav 13 5714 1453

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (804): View more from Virginia

  At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.

  Fav 12 3717 1249

  share tweet
  

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend

  Fav 5 4112 1252

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (678): View more from Georgia

  Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.

  Fav 12 904 2464

  share tweet
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  And the results, officer?

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She's fucked.

  Fav 6 1416 594

  share tweet
  

• (775): View more from Nevada

  Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year

  Fav 9 567 861

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet

  Fav 6 496 653

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE

  Fav 3 756 498

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (865): View more from Tennessee

  He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.

  Fav 4 610 165

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?

  Fav 0 235 212

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?

  Fav 3 108 187

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for

  Fav 2 79 2

  share tweet
  

Randomize