u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Your tits are I can't wait for
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
