I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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