3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
