what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
