hell yes lets make some ravioli
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
