My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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