You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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