She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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