No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
