Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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