I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
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