So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize