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I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
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