Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
