I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
