I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
