I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize