I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
