i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
