Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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